Important Topics to Discuss Before Marriage

Before marriage, it is very important to openly discuss key topics such as finance, family, children, career, daily life, personal freedom, relationship expectations, beliefs, and communication styles. These discussions help avoid future conflicts and build a strong foundation for a happy married life.

In Tamil Matrimony (Varan Thedal), many marriage issues arise not due to lack of compatibility, but due to lack of pre-marital communication.

1. Finance & Money Management (Nidhi & Porulatharam)

Discuss financial matters clearly:

• Income and salary details
• Existing loans or debts
• Savings and investments
• Spending habits
• Money management style (Joint account or Separate accounts)

2. Children & Parenting (Kuzhandhaigal & Valarppu)

Talk openly about:

• Whether you want children or not
• Number of children
• Parenting style and values
• Education plans for children

3. Family & Relationships (Kudumbam & Uravugal)

Family plays a major role in Tamil Marriage System:

• Relationship with parents and siblings
• Expectations from in-laws (Maamiyar / Maamanar)
• How often you will meet or stay with family

4. Career & Work Life (Velai & Thozhil)

Discuss career-related topics:

• Career goals and ambitions
• Work-life balance
• Job transfers or travel
• Impact of job on married life

5. Daily Life & Responsibilities (Andrada Vazhkai)

Talk about everyday responsibilities:

• Sharing household work
• Cooking, cleaning, and routines
• Food habits (Vegetarian / Non-vegetarian)

6. Personal Freedom & Me Time (Thanippatta Sudhandhiram)

Healthy marriage needs space:

• Personal time and independence
• Friends and social life
• Hobbies and self-growth

7. Beliefs & Values (Nambikkaigal & Mathippugal)

Discuss core values:

• Religion and religious practices
• Political views
• Honesty, kindness, and moral values

8. Communication & Conflict Handling (Thagaval Thodarbu)

Understand each other’s communication style:

• How you express feelings
• How you handle arguments
• Assertive, passive, or aggressive communication styles

9. Love, Affection & Intimacy (Anbu & Nerukkam)

Discuss emotional and physical expectations:

• Expression of love and care
• Emotional bonding
• Physical intimacy expectations

10. Life Goals & Dreams (Vazhkai Ilakkugal & Kanavugal)

Share your future vision:

• Personal and professional goals
• Dreams you want to achieve together
• Lifestyle expectations